Dad's Trust and Support: Reflecting this Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is coming up. This year will be a challenging one for me because it is also my late mom’s birthday. Having lost both my parents and sister unexpectedly over the last few years, this time of year evokes strong memories and emotions, and for the sake of this blog, those surrounding the bond I had with my dad.

In a previous post, I shared how my dad would often make me the authority by enlisting me on special projects and tasks. Around Mother’s Day, he and I would shop for jewelry for my mother. And now that I think of it, I had older sisters, but he never grabbed them for the shopping excursion. It may be because they loved to shop and would’ve taken him to every store in the mall. I was the exact opposite. While I loved nice things, I didn’t like the idea of having to go on the hunt for them, and definitely not for hours at a time.

And so, we would head into the jewelry store. It didn’t matter what I reached for, he would purchase it. And I don’t know if he was doing this knowingly or unknowingly, but it was a sign to me that not only did he trust my input, but he also supported it. He never once told me to put something back, nor did he try to sway me to get something different. If I picked it up and said, "This is the one," it is what he went with. This trust has shaped my approach to relationships and decision-making, leading me to trust my gut feelings and make informed decisions in my own life.

Today, many things have changed. You can now pick up your phone and shop. However, the essence of those experiences —the trust and bonding —can still be a part of the dad and daughter relationship.  You may not drive to the jewelry store, but you can certainly sit down together with a tablet and search for the perfect gift online. Share stories while you browse, and connect to strengthen your bond.

Now, I understand that everyone isn’t trusting their daughter with jewelry-buying abilities. Do things according to your daughter’s age—you’re her dad, so you know her capabilities. 

Start small. Have her choose a dessert for dinner or pick a movie to watch together. Then, increase the responsibility as she grows, allowing her to plan a day for the two of you or make decisions about her extracurricular activities and education. Each one of these moments is an opportunity to affirm that you trust her. It builds her confidence and shows her how you support her.

For Mother’s Day, I’ll be spending time reflecting on those I’ve lost, but also grateful for the memories that we created. They serve as a reminder of the love, trust, and support that defined my childhood and have positively shaped my adulthood.

How have you been building trust and support with your daughter? Share your story in the comments below or on Instagram using the hashtag #HonrMag. Some dads may not be saying anything, but they are reading and watching - let’s continue to create a community where we can all learn from one another and build stronger, more meaningful relationships.