Let Her Go To the Party

Can I go to the Y-Party?

That was often my phrase on Wednesday for the fun that would take place on Friday when I was in the 7th and 8th grades. I had long since learned what my dad’s expectations of me were. Get good grades, complete my chores on time, and keep a clean room throughout the week. If I were capable of those things, he couldn’t tell me no. He would say, “Do what you need to do so you can do what you want to do.”

My dad instilled in me character and the way I should behave as a lady from an early age. “Don’t let anybody feel you up! When you come home, I’ll be dusting you for fingerprints!” Ha! I was always on my best behavior. I was there to have a good time, and he always told me I could do that without alcohol or sneaking off with anybody. And he was absolutely right. I partied through middle school and high school, so that by the time I hit college, I was utterly exhausted from partying.

Set the standard in your household, but don’t hold your daughter back from having a good time. Responsibility builds character, and the opportunity to socialize builds personal identity. If you tighten the reins too much, when away at college, she will have access to every party, drug, and boy imaginable. She should experience this under your guidance and supervision, so she knows what to do and how to act when she’s not.